- Don't worry. You can get your own conectome profile from your
personal neurologist-bot and after few snapshots of your brain he will
prescribe you something that will improve your SELF dramatically. You
will be shocked how well he knows you after this. If there is something
which he shouldn't know, if you store some secrets in your tissues -
you have to reserve the rights to your brain data and visit lawyer... I
recommend legal consuels on our planet. They know intergalactic law
very well. Do we have your DNA on our database? Ok. Very good. Believe
me after one hour surgery you will be someone else. Someone better from
my point of view. Method depends on your brain structure - cortical
thickness, number of axons which are conecting critical regions,
thickness of the myelin, number of gial cells, level of
neurotransmitters, condition of cerebral blood circulation system,
electrical eficiency... and of your life goals of course. Relax, our
company can offer you cheap chips, high tech brain computer interfaces
with constant acces to the interglctic web and virtual infosphere,
synthetic, or produced from stem cells conections beetwen hemisphears,
between regions of the brain which you are using at work. Is your
company gonna pay for this?
- Intergalactic companies need competent workers...
- Ok. so You can take advantage of everything we offer, you can get
everything we have in the extending packages - nano chips, synthetic
neurons, additional layers of the neocortex - number of them depends on
how many parts of the limbic system you decide to replace by synthetic
versions. Which i recomend because these versions are better then, so
called, natural. Maybe you want to test our DNA modification methods?
Viruses or nanobots, specially designed for this purpose, can implant
more orderly sentences of human DNA into your neurons and we can change
in this way number of synapses for example, or myelin thickness. You
can be always relaxed when we change number of dopamine and serotonin
receptors. When we cut of amygdalia a litlle bit you will be less
anxious in the contact with aliens... Or we can increase the level of
enzyme Dnmt3a if you have anxiety problems in general... Or we can
increase level of orexin if you want to feel satisfied with your
misarable life. You litlle sad worm... We can increase level of
oxitocine if you're lonely...
- What did you say?
- We can increase level of oxitocine if you're lonely...
- Orexin? do you want to change level of orexin...?
- Nevermind. Please continue.
- Surely we can create chip which will regulate levels of every
neurotransmitter depending on your needs. What do You think? Do you
want to integrate yourself with the machines or you want to stay fully
biological? Maybe you should consider computation in the cloud system
if you don't mind to be not fully autonomous? You litlle monster. You
can regulate your brain circuits with some external devices but it's
primitive and impractical... But then you have always possibility of
turning it off by huge red button... Which you don't have in other
cases. Any questions?
- Yeah. do you have some water? With ice please. Or some cold fluid
you bastard? I must cool down my atomic reactor... Thank you verrrry
- Haha. So You are already fueled by non biological energy resources?
Finally something normal. Is it comfortable?
- Oh yeah...When i've changed my skeleton to lighter version made of
some cosmic polimer i can carry this litlle nuclear power plant... with
help of this exosceleton... You fuck. Of course there is no liver,
intestine, heart, lungs and other bio-junk here inside... and i don't
have to eat anymore... Fortuneatlly you have horrible cuisine on this
planet - your 3d printers can't make real spaghetti or pizza.
- How old are your bio organs fapper?
- 378 earth years... My doctor was workin with my telomerase
intensively and was rewriting my genome few times. It's workin - i'm
- Amazing. I'm talking with another ancient, obsolete creature...
Living history. Ok so your life strategy is posthuman, you are not
sentimental and we can remove old fashioned neurons... yes? Ok I'll
prepare fully non biological options for you... Most of our workers
from earth still use natural shitty brains. It's funny because usually
they can't store enought information in memory to properly fulfill
their duties which affects their comfort of work... Bugs. And this
embarrassing fallacy of their logic... Conservatives are so sad to
watch... Do you care about human shape or you want to design some more
- Human appearance doesn't matter to me. We can play with my fuckin
head... I have some artistic ideas how it can look like. A few decades
ago I've finished art high school. After head i will also change rest
of my body... These ungainly limbs... Are you making whole body
transfigurations in this clinic? Two legs - it's so inefficient...
- Yes! Of course! Every possible shape and function known in the known
universe you can afford here in our trully transformative medical
factory! You people were always soooooo creative even with this
smaaaaall brains - we believe you'll choose something remarkable. hehe.
But let me ask some anthropological question... I'm intrested in human
worms. Why are you so attatched to your emotions, why do you care about
fears, about this fluctuating, disorientating states of minds?
- We've never liked our unstable emotions but we couldn't rebuild ourselfs
for many centuries... It's simple evolutional mechanism... You can name
this program -protection against disintegration... You can't simply
unscrew my hand... But to hell with hands there is many single,
irreplaceable parts. We have pain you have energetic sanctions... Not a
big difference. System is working properly only with every integral
element. You know homeostasis require stable circumstances... Emotions
are keeping us in a heap.
- Eh. so stupid organisms... I know... You are afraid of being
disassembled... Every population of machines with implemented emotions
lived less then these without it in every simulation of the universes
which I've runned ... It's hard to survive without possibility of
rearranging the body, without possibility of reprogramming! I don't
understand how did you manage to survive so long with so litlle... But
you understand need of transformation and that's why you are here in
our clinic... hm?
- Yes. It's not because of fear of death. It's because I like to be
conciouss... But dear pervert Med Bot... I just received alert
message... I have to go - some bussineses in Palomar 4 galactic. I will
contact you after taking my snapshots...
- See ya soon Mr.Mindless and enjoy your antigravitational flight!
- I love zero gravity. Even if cosmic radiation and some solar winds
demaging my cells... See You handicapped Med Bot!
- Disgusting impermanence...
- Excuse me?
- Greetings! Relax and lick a cactus. Good luck!